Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
