My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
