areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
