you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
