your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
