You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
