I wanna bring you to show and tell
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Still dying that you shit outside
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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