I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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