i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
