it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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