Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
