If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
