Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
