In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
