There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
