I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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