a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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