i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
