I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
