you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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