I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So many bounce houses so little time
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
