kristin has been a bad kristin
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
