I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
