I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I FOUND THE LEGS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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