Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I want a musical about memes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
