I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
