If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
