suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
