the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
