I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
