Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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