I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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