He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
