This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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