So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
