the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
