This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
