I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
