So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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