So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
