are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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