The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
