Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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