I think I died a long time ago.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
