No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Dick very happy bro
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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