How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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