he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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