You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
only you would photoshop your dick
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
