Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So squirting runs in the family.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
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