I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
