Don't you send me to vm
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
