Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
