we made out on top of his cat.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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