smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
